Posts tagged as “#personalgrowth”

ACCEPTANCE OF SELF

Published February 20, 2020 by jjmac80

“Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to
others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their
own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept
everything you are- and aren’t- that you will truly succeed.”

-unknown.

Before continuing, its important to
accept that you are not perfect, but rather perfectly imperfect and
unique. Cut yourself some slack if you make a mistake. Anyone who has
ever tried something new, or tried to quit something unhealthy has
made a mistake. One must offer themselves grace and forgiveness, but
more than that, one must accept themselves for who they are. If you
truly want to be happy, then it will do you no good to spend any
amount of time putting yourself down.

Most of us have things about
ourselves we think could be better. Society and media contribute a
great deal to our image of self. Girls in magazines are airbrushed to
have a particular type of body, the education system caters to a
certain type of mind, success (as our culture sees it) is measured by
our level of income and number of possessions. If you are not slim
and symmetrical, then you are ugly. If you do not make A’s in your
class’s, then you are dumb. If you aren’t raking in the cash and
driving a fancy car, then you are a failure. These are the lies we
are fed from day one; Enough! There is so much beauty around us,
there are so many possibilities, and there are so many definitions of
success. If you are going to make it on this journey, then you have
got to start loving yourself for who you are. That being said, one
should always leave room for personal growth as this is the ultimate
way to add to the depth of your soul and personality, hence the
previous bit on learning.

One can have things about
themselves they wish to improve on and still have acceptance of self.
For example, someone who is trying to lose weight can love themselves
for who they are today, while also working towards the goal of being
a more fit version of themselves. Along the way there will also be
many opportunities for them to practice giving themselves grace when
struggles arise. Someone who may not have a knack for math, but
perhaps possess a passion for art, can accept themselves for their
specific talents and be okay with not having gifts in other areas.
Someone who lives in a tiny house and chooses to live off the land
can be defined as successful. It’s okay to not want the same things
as others and to color outside of the lines. It’s okay to be
different than others as well. In fact it’s good that you are,
because if we where all exactly the same, there would be nothing to
learn from each other and no one to challenge us; therefore there
would be little growth and people in general would become a bore.
There is no other individual that is exactly like you; embrace your
uniqueness.

The other thing we as people do too
much of, is sensor ourselves. It’s almost as if we have a different
personality for everyone we talk to. We are constantly trying to
uphold several images. With your parents you are a certain way, with
your good friends you are another. While at church you may be all
please and thank you, but when at work Monday you may be all shut-up
and fuck-you. It’s exhausting to keep up with being someone or
something you are not. It’s possible to expend so much effort
keeping up images that even you aren’t sure who you really are. As
with all things, there needs to some balance. If there is a group of
people that you are normally quiet with, maybe speak up a little. If
there is a group of people that you are normally outspoken with,
maybe listen a little more. If you find that when around certain
people you are afraid to just be you, then it may be time to think
about finding some people who allow you to be authentic, and who
in-turn are also authentic.

The point here is we must stop worrying so much about what other people think of us; we don’t need to be people pleasers. You don’t need everyone to be happy with you; you need to be happy with you. Start living your life for you, not for others. Start accepting who you are and who you can become, and let go of who you are not.

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FORGIVENESS

Published February 20, 2020 by jjmac80

FORGIVENESS

“There is no love without
forgiveness,

and there is no forgiveness
without love.”

-Bryant H. McGill.

Forgiveness
is a choice. Sometimes the act of forgiving can hurt almost as much
as the wound inflicted upon us in the first place. When we forgive,
it is not always for others; at times it is just for us.

There
are times when another may tread on us, then go about their way
without a single thought as to how they made us feel; it is us who
are left to suffer. It is also us who hold the cure. If an object
pierces your flesh and is left untreated, its likely that you will
remain in a state of pain. The longer it remains, the more your life
will begin to ebb away. At some point you will need to remove the
object to allow the flesh a chance to heal. You will always bear the
scar, this will be a reminder to you; what you choose to learn from
it is up to you.

When we hold on to our anger, it gives us a sense of control. We were not able to control the event that injured us, so we will now rebel against our internal desire to forgive and love as a way to protect ourselves from further harm. However, it is us who will pay the price, not the perpetrator. When we hold on to anger we limit our peace and happiness. Anger, pride, lust, and envy are some of the things that blind us. Forgiveness is about letting go. Forgiving others is similar to bailing water out of a boat; with every bucket of water tossed over the side our vessel begins to rise. Soon, you are able to float above the chaos, continuing down stream the way you were meant to.

Sometimes
we withhold our forgiveness as a way to punish someone else; again it
is about control. We want to keep them from having peace. We want to
wound them, the way they wounded us. What we often fail to realize,
is that we have been poisoned. We are now allowing anger to run our
lives, and we are also allowing others to have power over us. The
only way to break the cycle is to forgive. When we do so, all of the
power over us is released. We are able to move back into a place of
positivity, a place of healing and progress.

Forgiving
others is also an act of love. There will surely be people along the
way who perhaps do not deserve your forgives. It is not up to us to
be the judge of every man or woman. In these cases, it is best to
forgive in order to allow yourself to move on. However, in the case
of relationship forgiveness can be seen as an act of unconditional
love. It can be a way to say to someone, that even though you are not
perfect, I will love you anyway. It is not a show of weakness, but
one of strength. You are not forgiving because you have to, but
because you choose to.

If
you desire forgiveness, then be the type that forgives, and be brave
enough to ask for it. Take responsibility for the things you know you
have done wrong. Most importantly forgive yourself. You cannot have
happiness if you are angry with yourself. If you believe you are
hurting others on purpose, then you should meet that issue with the
power of your will and do that which is necessary to change it. If
you are merely being human and making mistakes like the rest of us,
then you should love yourself, forgive yourself, learn from it, and
move on.

The sooner you put forgiveness into practice, the sooner you can get the water out of your boat, get the object of pain out of your flesh, heal your wounds, strengthen your relationships, and get back to being happy.

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SPENDING TIME ALONE

Published December 31, 2019 by jjmac80

SPENDING TIME ALONE

“Knowing
others is intelligence,

knowing
yourself is true wisdom.”

-Lao Tzu-

No
other individual should ever be responsible for your happiness.
Spending time alone is perhaps one of the most self empowering things
one can do for themselves. When
we are young, we scarcely
know what we want or don’t
want. After some time, and perhaps after
a few negative experiences, we have a better idea of what we don’t
want, but still aren’t quite
sure of what
we do want. Many become stuck in this stage of life. They continue to
choose bad relationships, and fill their space and life with things
and people they thought would make them happy, yet somehow they are
left feeling as if something is missing, or that they should be doing
more with their life. Humans are a social species, and our
success as a species is largely due
to our working together and caring for one-another. However,
spending time alone can be crucial in helping us decide where and how
we fit into society and life as a whole. It also allows us to
plug into a higher sense of self, and establish a better connection
to our soul.

Many
people are afraid to be alone. When spending time alone, we often
have thoughts come to mind that have been buried by the hustle and
bustle of our day to day life. For some, being too busy to think
about the things that have hurt them
is intentional, while for others it is unintentional.
Spending time alone with your thoughts doesn’t have to be
frightening. Your soul uses your personality to get what it needs
from this life. If there are things that you are hiding from, then at
your core you can never really have peace, and therefore you are
effectively
placing an obstacle between
you and your happiness. The
best way to remove the obstruction is to deal with it directly. Some
of the best conversations an individual can have, are the ones they
have with themselves. The next time you are alone, talk out loud with
yourself about the things you are afraid of, and try to come up with
some practical ways to overcome those fears. Sometimes
saying things out loud helps us to see them differently and allows us
to let a little air out of the fear balloon. Talking out loud with
yourself may seem daft to some, but
its a great way to sort out jumbled thoughts, prepare yourself for a
difficult conversation, or even to speak positive vibes into the
universe by stating the things you are thankful for. You
can do this while driving to work, taking a shower, doing
the dishes, or any other time you find yourself alone.

Some
people have never lived alone. They moved out of their parents house
and in with a roommate, then go on to live with a boyfriend or
girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the
individual makes time for self. Even so, some may develop a pattern
of dependency. It’s as if they don’t believe that
they can make it on their
own. Being financially
responsible, doing
the laundry, cooking,
cleaning, keeping
appointments, and so on can seem like daunting tasks if you have
always split those responsibilities with someone else. Nothing
builds self confidence in an individual like knowing you have what it
takes to be self sufficient. If you are single, embrace it. Be
thankful that you are getting some good life experience under your
belt and growing with every challenge you meet. If
you are in a relationship, find time to be alone.

Making
time to reflect and be by yourself is
a great way to find harmony in a world that at times can feel rather
chaotic. There are a number
of ways one can go about spending time with themselves. Going for a
walk or bike ride, meditating, taking a bath and reading a book,
sitting down to a movie and a bowl of popcorn, heading to the lake to
do some fishing or kayaking, or just about anything else you might
enjoy. It’s great to have shared activities with others, but the
more time you spend alone, the more confident you will become, the
more self empowered you will feel, and
the more you will begin to know and trust yourself. Suddenly you will
find yourself having new things to share with others, you will begin
to have a better idea of what you want out of life, and
most of all you will develop a better relationship with yourself.

By spending more time alone, you will gain a firmer grasp of who you are as an individual, the things you used to be afraid will begin to fall away and there will be more room for your happiness.

Recommended books

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The Secret to Getting More of What You Want

Published September 22, 2019 by jjmac80

The Secret to Getting More of What You Want

What if I told you there was a simple way for you to have more of what you want? What if I told you much of what you experience in life is ordered up by your subconscious mind? Have you ever been in a situation where you saw the possibility of attaining something good, but found that your fear or insecurities where whispering discouraging words to you? (Yeah, she likes you and you could probably have a good time for a while, but you know you’re kind of boring and she would just end up leaving you for someone else.) (You better hope they don’t pick you for the management position because even though you want to earn more money, you likely wouldn’t be able to handle the job.) (Sure you’d like to generate more income, but then you would lose your government benefits and wind up having to pay more for insurance, groceries, and taxes, so what’s the point?)

Here’s another one for you; how many times have you tried to do something or become something, and it became an endless struggle? The key word here is try. Yes we must apply effort to things, and self discipline in doing so is a necessary component, but rather than “try” what if you could just do or simply be? When we “try” to achieve something we immediately create a barrier between where we are now, and where we want to go. If you wanted to start a business for example, it would benefit you more to see yourself as an individual starting a business or even already in that business and growing, rather than someone who is “trying” to start a business. While these differences may seem subtle, the impact of thinking and believing in such a way is profound. The difference in this example is the word trying suggest struggle or difficulty, while doing or being removes this blockage allowing you to get excited about what you are accomplishing. Fear and doubt are low vibrational emotions, whereas excitement and thankfulness resonate at a much higher frequency; emotion is the language of the universe.

Many people today are stuck in a victim mentality. (I don’t have enough. I can’t afford to pay my bills. The world is unfair. We can’t get along. I’m not doing as well as other people. I hate my job. Money is evil.) Moving through life in this way ensures that you will always remain powerless; life happens to you rather than for you. In the Audible book The Awakening Course by Dr. Joe Vitale,https://amzn.to/31K08Z1 it is explained that the first rule of psychology is that whatever you focus on, you get more of. In other words, if you always focus on what you don’t have, that is what you will get more of. If you focus on what you do have, and are thankful for it, then that will be what you get more of. Dr. Vitale does an amazing job of explaining all of this and so much more. Another Important tip from The Awakening Course is to pay attention to what ideas you allow to permeate your personal beliefs. One example given is your television. It’s no secret that the news groups receive higher view ratings when covering stories about disasters. The unbalanced coverage creates a narrative that mirrors the negative thoughts I gave examples for earlier, which confirms your fears and creates more barriers in your life. (Everyone is fighting. The world is in chaos. We’re running out of resources.) Humans are emotional beings. The Latin derivative for the word emotion (emotere) literally means energy in motion. It becomes difficult to focus positive energy towards your goals and projects in life if you allow yourself to be bombarded with such negativity.

Whether we realize it or not, we all have beliefs. Many of those beliefs can be limiting. I’m not talking about religious beliefs, though those too can be a factor. The beliefs I’m talking about are more along the lines of (I’ll never turn pro playing basketball because I’m not tall enough.) the belief here is that only taller individuals can make it in professional basketball. (I can’t earn a higher income because I never went to college.) The obvious belief here is that one needs a college education to achieve a higher level of income. Dr. Vitalle has spent many years helping regular people dispel such limiting beliefs, and has made it his mission in life to share these life changing tips with as many people as possible. He has authored dozens of books, and was featured in the film The Secret, which gives insight concerning the power of the law of attraction. I personally found The Awakening Course to be of great benefit to me. Joe is a very personable guy and speaks in a way that is plain, straight forward, and easy to follow. I have listened to this audible book many times, and will continue to do so going forward as a reminder to myself. It’s often more beneficial to listen to or re-read a handful of books that speak to you so that you may retain every bit of them, than it is to read or listen to dozens and dozens and forget their wisdom.

That being said, Audible books is an amazing resource for those who are working full time, raising kids, going to school, or are just too tired to sit and read. I have included secure links to Audible in this writing. Without a membership, one time purchases of books can be quite expensive. Depending on the devise you’re on you may have to scroll down for cell phone or slide right on a computer, but by clicking the Audible links on this page you can sign up for a free trial. Usually free books are included, some they just give you, and others you choose. You do have to put in your information to get the free trial, but as long as you get rid of it before the trial is up, you will never be billed. It is so worth taking for a spin. If you’re like me you will find that there are so many other interesting Audible books to hear. People are the happiest when they are learning and growing as an individual. Say good bye to silly radio jockeys and listen in your car! Put your ear buds in and clean house, do art, work on your truck, take a bath, or whatever your heart desires while learning something new. I love to keep a note pad close so I can write things down. I believe in doing things that ad value. This is what my web page is about, and why I choose to share my thoughts on the things I do. With so many negative voices, I want to be one that is positive. If you do try the free trial and listen to The Awakening Course,https://amzn.to/31K08Z1 I’d love to know what you thought of it. Please feel free to leave me a comment. Remember to scroll down for the secure Audible link and promotion. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

My Secret to Learning and Bettering Myself

Published January 24, 2019 by jjmac80

My Secret to Learning and Bettering Myself

I just wanted to take a minute with this post and share something with all of you that has really been awesome for me. I live a very busy life; I own and operate a small distributing business 7 days a week year round. I am a single father of 3 kids, and have a household to run. I also am committed to working out 3 to 4 days a week, and I created Life Years as a way to help others get healthy as well. I love to read and research, as I believe personal growth is paramount to an individuals happiness. However, as you can imagine it is often difficult to find the time. This is what I wanted to share with all of you. One of my secrets is listening to audio books! There is so much information available in audio form these days, its amazing! Some of you may know, that I am an affiliate with Amazon, and because of that I am able to pass along special offers from time to time. This is one of those times, it cost you nothing, yet you have so much to gain. Right now Audible Books is offering a free trial, with free books included; just click the link to check it out https://amzn.to/2T5oWXc Its so great! I listen when I’m driving, when I’m cleaning, and when I’m working on other projects. I love squeezing in some knowledge or having someone paint some word pictures in my brain while I get other things done. When I’m learning about things, I often keep a notebook nearby so I can write things down that I want to remember, but I can always listen to it again as well; bonus! I personally am sick of negative news on TV and radio, and social media that causes us to compare our lives with those of others. Its been shown time and time again that people are the happiest when they are experiencing personal growth or making progress in some way. You could have everything you ever wanted, but if you don’t set new goals and do something to take action towards those goals, its likely you will be unhappy. With this post, like all of my others, I don’t link in products that I have not personally tried. I only link to the things that have really worked for me, and that I believe will also be helpful to you. If you have ever thought about trying Audible Books, now is a great time since you will also get some free books! If you don’t like it, get rid of it!!! I hope you at least try it, and if you do, I hope that you love it!! Enjoy!

P.s. I have also included a link to this offer at the very bottom of all of my other articles as well, under the comment and subscription blocks; trying to hook up as many people as I can while the offer is available.

Don’t Take it Personally

Published November 25, 2018 by jjmac80

Don’t Take it Personally

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you

when you take nothing personally.”

- Don Miguel Ruiz

We’ve all been there; someone at work, school, on the bus, or waiting behind us in line at the drug store lashes out as if we have committed a crime against them. It’s amazing how quickly such a simple event can ruin our day. Long after the incident has occurred we find ourselves replaying it over and over in our minds. We think about things we wished we had said or done, or perhaps what we will say the next time we experience such an encounter. Our stress level swells, and before we realize it; the rest of our day has been taken hostage by our feelings of anger and confusion.

It’s important to remember that in most cases it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Its usually misguided anger fueled by an event or events in the other person’s life. Maybe its an angry older man who has recently lost his wife, and is struggling to cope. Maybe its a teenage girl who cut you off in traffic because she is emotionally distraught after having an argument with her best friend. The point is we don’t know! If we’re going to make assumptions; let us assume that most people are of a decent nature and do not set out to ruin our day. It behooves us to understand that every individual is a soul on their own unique journey. When you learn to see others as a soul, rather than just someone who has inconvenienced you in some way, you may actually find some sympathy for what they may be going through. Understanding in this way is an act of love, and brings about forgiveness, which allows you to let things go, and voila’… you’re back to having a good day. Okay, it may take some practice, but fortunately for you, there will be plenty of opportunities.

Sometimes taking things personally goes much deeper and is a bit more difficult to wrestle with.

This is the case for the man or woman who as a child suffered under an abusive parent, and for the individual who has been in (or is currently in) an oppressive relationship. In both cases, the individual is lead to believe that they are not good enough, or that they may not even deserve to be loved at all. Taking on such a toxic view of one’s self can be debilitating in many ways. The offender in these examples has often been the recipient of similar abuse and or oppression in their own life. Sometimes individuals like this either consciously or subconsciously pass along that which has been impressed on them as a way to relieve their own pain and anger. Again, understanding and forgiveness are going to be paramount in helping you to not take it personally when someone wrongs you (or has wronged you) in either of these two situations, or in a similar situations. Understanding that it’s them, not you who has the problem, and forgiving them even if they don’t ask for it can be quite freeing. Forgiveness in this case is not about making right that which has been done to you, but rather it is about releasing that which keeps you from your own happiness.

The next time someone hurls and insult at you, attacks you in some way, or acts without regard or consideration for your feelings; take a moment to experience that feeling. Then remember there is a choice to be made. You can act from a place of anger and frustration by taking it personally, or you can choose to not take it personally and move about your day in peace, and without the burden of shouldering the negative energy of others. I am not suggesting that you be a pushover if someone is firing at you intentionally. It’s important to know when to stand up for yourself. I am merely suggesting that you not give others power over you by letting them decide how you are going to feel. It is rather appropriate (in my opinion) to be selfish where your health and happiness are concerned.

There will always be words spouted in anger, and hurtful actions taken against others as a way to mask one’s pain. Learning to not take things personally could be monumental in setting you free. Here is A link to my E-Book (A Happier You) https://amzn.to/2zoSdEq along with some other books I highly recommend. Thanks for reading! https://amzn.to/2P0sCqk https://amzn.to/2SaSj9H https://amzn.to/2Se6zP7