“There is no love without
forgiveness,
and there is no forgiveness
without love.”
-Bryant H. McGill.
Forgiveness
is a choice. Sometimes the act of forgiving can hurt almost as much
as the wound inflicted upon us in the first place. When we forgive,
it is not always for others; at times it is just for us.
There
are times when another may tread on us, then go about their way
without a single thought as to how they made us feel; it is us who
are left to suffer. It is also us who hold the cure. If an object
pierces your flesh and is left untreated, its likely that you will
remain in a state of pain. The longer it remains, the more your life
will begin to ebb away. At some point you will need to remove the
object to allow the flesh a chance to heal. You will always bear the
scar, this will be a reminder to you; what you choose to learn from
it is up to you.
When we hold on to our anger, it gives us a sense of control. We were not able to control the event that injured us, so we will now rebel against our internal desire to forgive and love as a way to protect ourselves from further harm. However, it is us who will pay the price, not the perpetrator. When we hold on to anger we limit our peace and happiness. Anger, pride, lust, and envy are some of the things that blind us. Forgiveness is about letting go. Forgiving others is similar to bailing water out of a boat; with every bucket of water tossed over the side our vessel begins to rise. Soon, you are able to float above the chaos, continuing down stream the way you were meant to.
Sometimes
we withhold our forgiveness as a way to punish someone else; again it
is about control. We want to keep them from having peace. We want to
wound them, the way they wounded us. What we often fail to realize,
is that we have been poisoned. We are now allowing anger to run our
lives, and we are also allowing others to have power over us. The
only way to break the cycle is to forgive. When we do so, all of the
power over us is released. We are able to move back into a place of
positivity, a place of healing and progress.
Forgiving
others is also an act of love. There will surely be people along the
way who perhaps do not deserve your forgives. It is not up to us to
be the judge of every man or woman. In these cases, it is best to
forgive in order to allow yourself to move on. However, in the case
of relationship forgiveness can be seen as an act of unconditional
love. It can be a way to say to someone, that even though you are not
perfect, I will love you anyway. It is not a show of weakness, but
one of strength. You are not forgiving because you have to, but
because you choose to.
If
you desire forgiveness, then be the type that forgives, and be brave
enough to ask for it. Take responsibility for the things you know you
have done wrong. Most importantly forgive yourself. You cannot have
happiness if you are angry with yourself. If you believe you are
hurting others on purpose, then you should meet that issue with the
power of your will and do that which is necessary to change it. If
you are merely being human and making mistakes like the rest of us,
then you should love yourself, forgive yourself, learn from it, and
move on.
The sooner you put forgiveness into practice, the sooner you can get the water out of your boat, get the object of pain out of your flesh, heal your wounds, strengthen your relationships, and get back to being happy.
Recommended books