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Don’t Take it Personally

Published November 25, 2018 by jjmac80
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Don’t Take it Personally

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you

when you take nothing personally.”

- Don Miguel Ruiz

We’ve all been there; someone at work, school, on the bus, or waiting behind us in line at the drug store lashes out as if we have committed a crime against them. It’s amazing how quickly such a simple event can ruin our day. Long after the incident has occurred we find ourselves replaying it over and over in our minds. We think about things we wished we had said or done, or perhaps what we will say the next time we experience such an encounter. Our stress level swells, and before we realize it; the rest of our day has been taken hostage by our feelings of anger and confusion.

It’s important to remember that in most cases it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Its usually misguided anger fueled by an event or events in the other person’s life. Maybe its an angry older man who has recently lost his wife, and is struggling to cope. Maybe its a teenage girl who cut you off in traffic because she is emotionally distraught after having an argument with her best friend. The point is we don’t know! If we’re going to make assumptions; let us assume that most people are of a decent nature and do not set out to ruin our day. It behooves us to understand that every individual is a soul on their own unique journey. When you learn to see others as a soul, rather than just someone who has inconvenienced you in some way, you may actually find some sympathy for what they may be going through. Understanding in this way is an act of love, and brings about forgiveness, which allows you to let things go, and voila’… you’re back to having a good day. Okay, it may take some practice, but fortunately for you, there will be plenty of opportunities.

Sometimes taking things personally goes much deeper and is a bit more difficult to wrestle with.

This is the case for the man or woman who as a child suffered under an abusive parent, and for the individual who has been in (or is currently in) an oppressive relationship. In both cases, the individual is lead to believe that they are not good enough, or that they may not even deserve to be loved at all. Taking on such a toxic view of one’s self can be debilitating in many ways. The offender in these examples has often been the recipient of similar abuse and or oppression in their own life. Sometimes individuals like this either consciously or subconsciously pass along that which has been impressed on them as a way to relieve their own pain and anger. Again, understanding and forgiveness are going to be paramount in helping you to not take it personally when someone wrongs you (or has wronged you) in either of these two situations, or in a similar situations. Understanding that it’s them, not you who has the problem, and forgiving them even if they don’t ask for it can be quite freeing. Forgiveness in this case is not about making right that which has been done to you, but rather it is about releasing that which keeps you from your own happiness.

The next time someone hurls and insult at you, attacks you in some way, or acts without regard or consideration for your feelings; take a moment to experience that feeling. Then remember there is a choice to be made. You can act from a place of anger and frustration by taking it personally, or you can choose to not take it personally and move about your day in peace, and without the burden of shouldering the negative energy of others. I am not suggesting that you be a pushover if someone is firing at you intentionally. It’s important to know when to stand up for yourself. I am merely suggesting that you not give others power over you by letting them decide how you are going to feel. It is rather appropriate (in my opinion) to be selfish where your health and happiness are concerned.

There will always be words spouted in anger, and hurtful actions taken against others as a way to mask one’s pain. Learning to not take things personally could be monumental in setting you free. Here is A link to my E-Book (A Happier You) https://amzn.to/2zoSdEq along with some other books I highly recommend. Thanks for reading!   https://amzn.to/2P0sCqk   https://amzn.to/2SaSj9H     https://amzn.to/2Se6zP7

How to Cultivate Positive Relationships

Published May 11, 2018 by jjmac80
jjmac80 0
How to Cultivate Positive Relationships

“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends,

your dreams, or your dignity.”

-Mandy Hale

A friend told me once that they were very upset that nobody ever called them or invited them to parties or events. I remember asking him who he had called recently, or what events he had planned and invited people to. In today’s world people are quite busy with their own lives and can unintentionally neglect their relationships with friends and family. Perhaps if this friend of mine had invited a few people out for a game of pool and a slice of pizza he might be a bit happier with his experience. You can tell yourself that your experiences are unfair, or see them as opportunities to learn something. You can see yourself as a victim of your experiences or the creator of them.

Though this post is about relationships, I’m a big advocate of spending time alone. I believe this will lead to you knowing yourself better, which will help to set you up for having more positive and meaningful relationships. When you know yourself well, you are less likely to put up with other individuals who may try to mistreat or take advantage of you in some way. You are also less likely to settle for relationships that aren’t really a good fit for you as you will have more confidence in knowing what you bring to the table and where your boundaries lie.

Its been said that if one wants to be a millionaire, one should spend time hanging out with millionaires. In part this is because an individual who does so, is able to get a first hand look at how a millionaire conducts themselves. This would give some idea as to what kind of characteristics one may need to take on in order to become a millionaire themselves. But there is something else at work here; something that many great men and women have tried to understand and harness across the span of time; the law of attraction. So if you run around with millionaires and begin to believe that you are becoming one, than the universe is likely to bring about things in your life to make this a reality.

It’s not quite that simple, but this is the basic idea. This concept has been around for thousands of years. Even in the bible we are told “whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours”. The universe is organized. My point in telling you this is that if you are the type of person who likes to play the victim and feel sorry for yourself, then there are two kinds of people you will attract in your life; those who victimize you, and those who are also feeling sorry for themselves. If you go around complaining that you never have enough, or that no one loves you, then you are likely creating a self fulfilling prophecy. This is extremely important. If one is to continue with such negative beliefs, then it’s probable that they will be made uncomfortable by anything or anyone who does not fit into this negative ideal. If someone comes along and attempts to love them without condition, but they continue to believe that no one truly loves them, then there is a greater likelihood of that person self sabotaging the relationship in order to meet the expectation they have pre-set for their life. Whatever has gone on in your life, whatever you have done, it’s in the past. Every day you are given the opportunity to choose better things for yourself. It’s time for you to start believing you deserve good things, and that you are worthy of unconditional love. When you do, you allow people to bless you while simultaneously remaining humble enough to be thankful for every bit of of it.

Be the type of person that you would like to hang out with. If you would like to have the type of friends who would be there for you in times of difficulty, then be the type of friend that is there for others in their times of difficulty. If you want the type of lover who loves you unconditionally, than be the type of lover who loves unconditionally. There is never a guarantee that you will be given back exactly what you give, but when you love this way your heart will be full and your conscience will be clear. Sadly, there are those who will still try to take advantage of your kindness, but if you know where your boundaries are, then you can love yourself enough to sever ties with such individuals before they are allowed to steal your energy.

Over time, as you begin to put these positive workings into motion you will start to attract more of what you need. You will begin to attract positive and meaningful relationships with people who truly care about you and your happiness. You will have fewer negative experiences, and you can be excited about all of the positive experiences that you were meant to have.

If you found this helpful, I have an e-book you may also enjoy called A Happier You, along with another of my favorites.    https://amzn.to/2JbawAF        https://amzn.to/2D0mVas

 

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