Posts tagged as “#happiness”

ACCEPTANCE OF SELF

Published February 20, 2020 by jjmac80

“Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to
others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their
own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept
everything you are- and aren’t- that you will truly succeed.”

-unknown.

Before continuing, its important to
accept that you are not perfect, but rather perfectly imperfect and
unique. Cut yourself some slack if you make a mistake. Anyone who has
ever tried something new, or tried to quit something unhealthy has
made a mistake. One must offer themselves grace and forgiveness, but
more than that, one must accept themselves for who they are. If you
truly want to be happy, then it will do you no good to spend any
amount of time putting yourself down.

Most of us have things about
ourselves we think could be better. Society and media contribute a
great deal to our image of self. Girls in magazines are airbrushed to
have a particular type of body, the education system caters to a
certain type of mind, success (as our culture sees it) is measured by
our level of income and number of possessions. If you are not slim
and symmetrical, then you are ugly. If you do not make A’s in your
class’s, then you are dumb. If you aren’t raking in the cash and
driving a fancy car, then you are a failure. These are the lies we
are fed from day one; Enough! There is so much beauty around us,
there are so many possibilities, and there are so many definitions of
success. If you are going to make it on this journey, then you have
got to start loving yourself for who you are. That being said, one
should always leave room for personal growth as this is the ultimate
way to add to the depth of your soul and personality, hence the
previous bit on learning.

One can have things about
themselves they wish to improve on and still have acceptance of self.
For example, someone who is trying to lose weight can love themselves
for who they are today, while also working towards the goal of being
a more fit version of themselves. Along the way there will also be
many opportunities for them to practice giving themselves grace when
struggles arise. Someone who may not have a knack for math, but
perhaps possess a passion for art, can accept themselves for their
specific talents and be okay with not having gifts in other areas.
Someone who lives in a tiny house and chooses to live off the land
can be defined as successful. It’s okay to not want the same things
as others and to color outside of the lines. It’s okay to be
different than others as well. In fact it’s good that you are,
because if we where all exactly the same, there would be nothing to
learn from each other and no one to challenge us; therefore there
would be little growth and people in general would become a bore.
There is no other individual that is exactly like you; embrace your
uniqueness.

The other thing we as people do too
much of, is sensor ourselves. It’s almost as if we have a different
personality for everyone we talk to. We are constantly trying to
uphold several images. With your parents you are a certain way, with
your good friends you are another. While at church you may be all
please and thank you, but when at work Monday you may be all shut-up
and fuck-you. It’s exhausting to keep up with being someone or
something you are not. It’s possible to expend so much effort
keeping up images that even you aren’t sure who you really are. As
with all things, there needs to some balance. If there is a group of
people that you are normally quiet with, maybe speak up a little. If
there is a group of people that you are normally outspoken with,
maybe listen a little more. If you find that when around certain
people you are afraid to just be you, then it may be time to think
about finding some people who allow you to be authentic, and who
in-turn are also authentic.

The point here is we must stop worrying so much about what other people think of us; we don’t need to be people pleasers. You don’t need everyone to be happy with you; you need to be happy with you. Start living your life for you, not for others. Start accepting who you are and who you can become, and let go of who you are not.

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FINDING BALANCE

Published January 22, 2020 by jjmac80

FINDING BALANCE

“The secret to life

is
finding the right balance to everything you do”.

-Unknown.

Balance
is all around us. One merely needs to step out side and have a look
around. The day is chased by the night, and the night is chased by
the day. The seasons lead and follow one another, like four ancient
friends riding a merry-go-round. The trees produce oxygen bringing
life to every breathing creature, and the breath of those creatures
returns to the trees as carbon-dioxide where it is turned back into
oxygen once again. The earth and moon move through space like
professional dance partners keeping time with the song of the
universe and holding each others gaze. There are many more examples
of balance in nature, but what about us; where can we see balance in
our own lives?

When
we think of balance today, we generally think about our schedules.
How do I get the kids to school in the morning, get to work on time,
and then somehow make it back to pick them up in eight hours? How can
I make time to pursue my education, excel at work, and hold down a
committed relationship? These are all good questions, and each of
them certainly have their place, but first there must be balance on a
more basic level. There are four fundamental areas to consider when
seeking balance in our lives; social,
physical,
mental,
and emotional.
Each of them is important to finding our equilibrium, and each is
essential to our happiness.

There
are many aspects of the social self, time with friends, interactions
with coworkers, being part of a church, participating in team sports,
and so on. Anytime you are interacting with one or more other
individuals, you are experiencing your social self. That is, the
person you become when you are with a particular individual or group
of individuals.

The
physical self has to do with your external appearance as well as your
internal health. Many factors play a role in this aspect of self. As
noted in a previous chapter, genetics play a large part, as they
provide the very frame work for your appearance and function, but
there are other factors as well. Diet and exercise, makeup, jewelry,
attire, and hair style can all contribute to this element of self.

The
mental self is vast. It is a medley of everything from our capacity
to learn to our ability to think, process, and reason. It has much to
do with our attitude, self awareness, natural talents, and our
general intelligence.

Finally,
there is the emotional self. This portion of self is complex and can
be quite difficult to master and or understand. It’s possible for
multiple individuals to have different feelings about the same event.
Due to the vast web of social media and other technological
advancements such as texting, many have become detached from their
emotional self. Some choose to bottle their feelings, never allowing
themselves to experience them. While others seek to bury or drown
them by way of drug and alcohol use.

Balance
within each category is crucial. For example; if you choose not to
eat as a way to lose weight and in order to appear healthier, your
internal health suffers and you are if effect out of balance. If you
choose to lose weight through healthy diet and exercise, then you
will be more in balance. If you make the choice to suppress your
sadness so that others will believe that you are happy rather than
experience your feelings and process them in a healthy manner; then
again you will be out of balance and you cannot be truly happy.

It
is equally important to have balance between each aspect of self. If
you spend all of your time focusing on your social self by going to
clubs with friends and getting trashed, it’s likely that your
physical self will suffer as a result of toxins, and poor nutrition.
Your mental self could suffer from lack of sleep, and your emotional
self may experience highs and lows as a negative facet of all of the
above. If you were to focus entirely on your physical self using only
healthy means, you may have balance within that category, but you may
also still be out of balance as a whole. Perhaps you are spending all
of your free time with your headphones in at the gym and your social
life has become nonexistent. Every individuals needs vary to some
degree, and the above examples (while somewhat extreme) are meant to
convey a basic truth. Balance is intrinsically linked to our overall
state of well being. I would also argue that our spiritual
self
is very much something to be examined. While many decisions in life
require nothing more than logic, there are many times when having a
good balance of mind and heart intelligence will lead to the more
satisfactory outcome.

A
simple way to be more intentional about having balance, is to write
down each main element of self and list in each category what you are
doing to improve in that area. Then think about how much time you
give to each of them, and decide if you are content with the way you
are balancing them. If you are not content, or simply feel there is
room for improvement; try to come up with some healthy ways to do so.
If you have been stuffing down your emotions, perhaps consider
counsel or setting some time aside for self reflection. If your
mental state is one of stress, maybe find some ways you can unwind,
like making time for positive physical, or social activities to
relieve said stress and restore your balance.

As I have said before; if you make more time to spend with yourself, building an intrapersonal relationship with you, then you will have a better sense of self and you will be better equipped to recognize when something feels off. Hence you will have the tools needed to correct course and get back to being a happier more balanced you.

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SPENDING TIME ALONE

Published December 31, 2019 by jjmac80

SPENDING TIME ALONE

“Knowing
others is intelligence,

knowing
yourself is true wisdom.”

-Lao Tzu-

No
other individual should ever be responsible for your happiness.
Spending time alone is perhaps one of the most self empowering things
one can do for themselves. When
we are young, we scarcely
know what we want or don’t
want. After some time, and perhaps after
a few negative experiences, we have a better idea of what we don’t
want, but still aren’t quite
sure of what
we do want. Many become stuck in this stage of life. They continue to
choose bad relationships, and fill their space and life with things
and people they thought would make them happy, yet somehow they are
left feeling as if something is missing, or that they should be doing
more with their life. Humans are a social species, and our
success as a species is largely due
to our working together and caring for one-another. However,
spending time alone can be crucial in helping us decide where and how
we fit into society and life as a whole. It also allows us to
plug into a higher sense of self, and establish a better connection
to our soul.

Many
people are afraid to be alone. When spending time alone, we often
have thoughts come to mind that have been buried by the hustle and
bustle of our day to day life. For some, being too busy to think
about the things that have hurt them
is intentional, while for others it is unintentional.
Spending time alone with your thoughts doesn’t have to be
frightening. Your soul uses your personality to get what it needs
from this life. If there are things that you are hiding from, then at
your core you can never really have peace, and therefore you are
effectively
placing an obstacle between
you and your happiness. The
best way to remove the obstruction is to deal with it directly. Some
of the best conversations an individual can have, are the ones they
have with themselves. The next time you are alone, talk out loud with
yourself about the things you are afraid of, and try to come up with
some practical ways to overcome those fears. Sometimes
saying things out loud helps us to see them differently and allows us
to let a little air out of the fear balloon. Talking out loud with
yourself may seem daft to some, but
its a great way to sort out jumbled thoughts, prepare yourself for a
difficult conversation, or even to speak positive vibes into the
universe by stating the things you are thankful for. You
can do this while driving to work, taking a shower, doing
the dishes, or any other time you find yourself alone.

Some
people have never lived alone. They moved out of their parents house
and in with a roommate, then go on to live with a boyfriend or
girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the
individual makes time for self. Even so, some may develop a pattern
of dependency. It’s as if they don’t believe that
they can make it on their
own. Being financially
responsible, doing
the laundry, cooking,
cleaning, keeping
appointments, and so on can seem like daunting tasks if you have
always split those responsibilities with someone else. Nothing
builds self confidence in an individual like knowing you have what it
takes to be self sufficient. If you are single, embrace it. Be
thankful that you are getting some good life experience under your
belt and growing with every challenge you meet. If
you are in a relationship, find time to be alone.

Making
time to reflect and be by yourself is
a great way to find harmony in a world that at times can feel rather
chaotic. There are a number
of ways one can go about spending time with themselves. Going for a
walk or bike ride, meditating, taking a bath and reading a book,
sitting down to a movie and a bowl of popcorn, heading to the lake to
do some fishing or kayaking, or just about anything else you might
enjoy. It’s great to have shared activities with others, but the
more time you spend alone, the more confident you will become, the
more self empowered you will feel, and
the more you will begin to know and trust yourself. Suddenly you will
find yourself having new things to share with others, you will begin
to have a better idea of what you want out of life, and
most of all you will develop a better relationship with yourself.

By spending more time alone, you will gain a firmer grasp of who you are as an individual, the things you used to be afraid will begin to fall away and there will be more room for your happiness.

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Something is Missing From the Air You Breathe.

Published November 4, 2018 by jjmac80

Something is Missing From the Air You Breathe.

Have you ever felt tired after a long car, train or bus ride? Perhaps you have experienced fatigue after a trip on a plane and assumed it was jet lag. Have you ever slept a full 8 hours and still woke to find yourself tired and groggy? Maybe you’re like me and find that you need more sleep in the winter time. For years I assumed this was solely due to attaining less sunlight during the day which meant I had lower vitamin D3 levels and therefore required more sleep to recharge. The problem was that over time I realized I still felt I had less energy. I even began to regularly take a D3 supplement which while beneficial, still did not seem to completely rectify the issue for me. Once spring came along I would slowly begin to feel more energized. Some people are familiar with something called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD; the symptoms of which are fatigue, feeling withdrawn, trouble sleeping, inability to focus, Irritability, and even body aches to name a few.

There is something that connects all of these things together. Something eastern medicine has known about for years. It has to do with electricity in the body. This is something often overlooked by western medicine. While some recognize the importance of electrolytes in beverages to help hydrate and restore energy in the body, most do not understand what they are and how they help us. Electrolyte minerals that can be obtained in the diet include magnesium, calcium, potassium, and sodium. These minerals are all alkalizing, meaning they make the body more alkaline. This is a term you may have heard when someone is talking about a battery. This is because by becoming more alkaline one literally becomes more conductive and thus more electric. This is very important because there are many processes which cannot take place in the body without proper conductivity, such as cell regeneration and many other restorative functions of the body. Without proper conductivity one could experience low energy, immune dysfunction, slow wound healing, brain fog, and well… all the symptoms associated with SAD. Now while those who are aware of this (such as myself) can and do make an effort to eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of clean water, and supplement when needed, there is something profound that most are still missing. Are you ready for this?.. clean air!!

How important is the air we breathe and how does it factor in? Well first of all, the body can go almost a month without food, and up to a week without water, but if you go without air for more than a few minutes you’re a goner, so I’d say it’s pretty important. Scientists have discovered that while oxygen and nitrogen are both important components of the air we breathe (along with lesser components such as argon, carbon dioxide, and methane) it is the negative ions within the air that have the greatest impact on our health. These negative ions carry a small electrical charge which when breathed in aid our body’s in numerous functions. The action of deep breathing alone is beneficial for lymphatic drainage and activation of the pneumogastric nerve which triggers glands in the body useful for balancing hormones. Proper deep breathing can be achieved by focusing on feeling your lungs expand downward towards your belly while drawing air in through the nose. This pushes on the diaphragm and is helpful for proper digestion and massaging the intestines thereby assisting in moving waste forward and out of the body (also known as peristalsis). But how do we get more negative ions, and what about positive ions? Positive ions are unfortunately all around us; they are in all of the things that pollute our air such as chemical sprays, dust, smog, and exhaust. These positive ions essentially render the negative ions useless. Furnaces and air-conditioners also damage the charge of the negative ions. In nature the sun’s rays, the moving of the oceans waves, and quickly moving air are the tools used by the earth to charge up more negative ions.

This brings me back to my questions posed to you about feeling tired after being trapped in a room, vehicle, or plane without any of the things necessary to produce negative ions for an extended period of time. I mean, just think about the places you’ve been where you feel the most charged up; the mountains, the beach, and wide open spaces in nature. Now think about how low energy you feel when you stay inside breathing recirculated air all day. Is it any wonder people experience SAD more in places where they are forced in doors due to freezing temperatures? Automobile manufacturers are now making available negative ionizers as research has shown that it cuts down of fatigue while driving. Even the space program uses these devices to help keep astronauts alert. Having one of these ionizers around has been paramount in helping me to feel more energized. I run it while I sleep, meditate, and workout. It is especially helpful during the winter months when I cannot be outside as much. I feel the biggest difference after I sleep with it in the room. Its like I’m actually recharging! I used to use a salt lamp as these are thought to improve the negative ions, but studies have shown the amount of negative ions produced by these lamps is so low it’s almost impossible to measure; it makes a good night-light for my son though. However, here are some ionizers that do work (including the one I have). https://amzn.to/2JC5nlA https://amzn.to/2SJCmIz https://amzn.to/2SOu9TI https://amzn.to/2JCJMcE https://amzn.to/2qrqOgd

I hope this has been helpful to you. Thanks for reading!