“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you
when you take nothing personally.”
- Don Miguel Ruiz
We’ve all been there; someone at work, school, on the bus, or waiting behind us in line at the drug store lashes out as if we have committed a crime against them. It’s amazing how quickly such a simple event can ruin our day. Long after the incident has occurred we find ourselves replaying it over and over in our minds. We think about things we wished we had said or done, or perhaps what we will say the next time we experience such an encounter. Our stress level swells, and before we realize it; the rest of our day has been taken hostage by our feelings of anger and confusion.
It’s important to remember that in most cases it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Its usually misguided anger fueled by an event or events in the other person’s life. Maybe its an angry older man who has recently lost his wife, and is struggling to cope. Maybe its a teenage girl who cut you off in traffic because she is emotionally distraught after having an argument with her best friend. The point is we don’t know! If we’re going to make assumptions; let us assume that most people are of a decent nature and do not set out to ruin our day. It behooves us to understand that every individual is a soul on their own unique journey. When you learn to see others as a soul, rather than just someone who has inconvenienced you in some way, you may actually find some sympathy for what they may be going through. Understanding in this way is an act of love, and brings about forgiveness, which allows you to let things go, and voila’… you’re back to having a good day. Okay, it may take some practice, but fortunately for you, there will be plenty of opportunities.
Sometimes taking things personally goes much deeper and is a bit more difficult to wrestle with.
This is the case for the man or woman who as a child suffered under an abusive parent, and for the individual who has been in (or is currently in) an oppressive relationship. In both cases, the individual is lead to believe that they are not good enough, or that they may not even deserve to be loved at all. Taking on such a toxic view of one’s self can be debilitating in many ways. The offender in these examples has often been the recipient of similar abuse and or oppression in their own life. Sometimes individuals like this either consciously or subconsciously pass along that which has been impressed on them as a way to relieve their own pain and anger. Again, understanding and forgiveness are going to be paramount in helping you to not take it personally when someone wrongs you (or has wronged you) in either of these two situations, or in a similar situations. Understanding that it’s them, not you who has the problem, and forgiving them even if they don’t ask for it can be quite freeing. Forgiveness in this case is not about making right that which has been done to you, but rather it is about releasing that which keeps you from your own happiness.
The next time someone hurls and insult at you, attacks you in some way, or acts without regard or consideration for your feelings; take a moment to experience that feeling. Then remember there is a choice to be made. You can act from a place of anger and frustration by taking it personally, or you can choose to not take it personally and move about your day in peace, and without the burden of shouldering the negative energy of others. I am not suggesting that you be a pushover if someone is firing at you intentionally. It’s important to know when to stand up for yourself. I am merely suggesting that you not give others power over you by letting them decide how you are going to feel. It is rather appropriate (in my opinion) to be selfish where your health and happiness are concerned.
There will always be words spouted in anger, and hurtful actions taken against others as a way to mask one’s pain. Learning to not take things personally could be monumental in setting you free. Here is A link to my E-Book (A Happier You) https://amzn.to/2zoSdEq along with some other books I highly recommend. Thanks for reading! https://amzn.to/2P0sCqk https://amzn.to/2SaSj9H https://amzn.to/2Se6zP7