“Knowing
others is intelligence,
knowing
yourself is true wisdom.”
-Lao Tzu-
No
other individual should ever be responsible for your happiness.
Spending time alone is perhaps one of the most self empowering things
one can do for themselves. When
we are young, we scarcely
know what we want or don’t
want. After some time, and perhaps after
a few negative experiences, we have a better idea of what we don’t
want, but still aren’t quite
sure of what
we do want. Many become stuck in this stage of life. They continue to
choose bad relationships, and fill their space and life with things
and people they thought would make them happy, yet somehow they are
left feeling as if something is missing, or that they should be doing
more with their life. Humans are a social species, and our
success as a species is largely due
to our working together and caring for one-another. However,
spending time alone can be crucial in helping us decide where and how
we fit into society and life as a whole. It also allows us to
plug into a higher sense of self, and establish a better connection
to our soul.
Many
people are afraid to be alone. When spending time alone, we often
have thoughts come to mind that have been buried by the hustle and
bustle of our day to day life. For some, being too busy to think
about the things that have hurt them
is intentional, while for others it is unintentional.
Spending time alone with your thoughts doesn’t have to be
frightening. Your soul uses your personality to get what it needs
from this life. If there are things that you are hiding from, then at
your core you can never really have peace, and therefore you are
effectively
placing an obstacle between
you and your happiness. The
best way to remove the obstruction is to deal with it directly. Some
of the best conversations an individual can have, are the ones they
have with themselves. The next time you are alone, talk out loud with
yourself about the things you are afraid of, and try to come up with
some practical ways to overcome those fears. Sometimes
saying things out loud helps us to see them differently and allows us
to let a little air out of the fear balloon. Talking out loud with
yourself may seem daft to some, but
its a great way to sort out jumbled thoughts, prepare yourself for a
difficult conversation, or even to speak positive vibes into the
universe by stating the things you are thankful for. You
can do this while driving to work, taking a shower, doing
the dishes, or any other time you find yourself alone.
Some
people have never lived alone. They moved out of their parents house
and in with a roommate, then go on to live with a boyfriend or
girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the
individual makes time for self. Even so, some may develop a pattern
of dependency. It’s as if they don’t believe that
they can make it on their
own. Being financially
responsible, doing
the laundry, cooking,
cleaning, keeping
appointments, and so on can seem like daunting tasks if you have
always split those responsibilities with someone else. Nothing
builds self confidence in an individual like knowing you have what it
takes to be self sufficient. If you are single, embrace it. Be
thankful that you are getting some good life experience under your
belt and growing with every challenge you meet. If
you are in a relationship, find time to be alone.
Making
time to reflect and be by yourself is
a great way to find harmony in a world that at times can feel rather
chaotic. There are a number
of ways one can go about spending time with themselves. Going for a
walk or bike ride, meditating, taking a bath and reading a book,
sitting down to a movie and a bowl of popcorn, heading to the lake to
do some fishing or kayaking, or just about anything else you might
enjoy. It’s great to have shared activities with others, but the
more time you spend alone, the more confident you will become, the
more self empowered you will feel, and
the more you will begin to know and trust yourself. Suddenly you will
find yourself having new things to share with others, you will begin
to have a better idea of what you want out of life, and
most of all you will develop a better relationship with yourself.
By spending more time alone, you will gain a firmer grasp of who you are as an individual, the things you used to be afraid will begin to fall away and there will be more room for your happiness.
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