“There is no love without forgiveness,
and there is no forgiveness without love.”
-Bryant H. McGill.
Forgiveness is a choice. Sometimes the act of forgiving can hurt almost as much as the wound inflicted upon us in the first place. When we forgive, it is not always for others; at times it is just for us.
There are times when another may tread on us, then go about their way without a single thought as to how they made us feel; it is us who are left to suffer. It is also us who hold the cure. If an object pierces your flesh and is left untreated, its likely that you will remain in a state of pain. The longer it remains, the more your life will begin to ebb away. At some point you will need to remove the object to allow the flesh a chance to heal. You will always bear the scar, this will be a reminder to you; what you choose to learn from it is up to you.
When we hold on to our anger, it gives us a sense of control. We were not able to control the event that injured us, so we will now rebel against our internal desire to forgive and love as a way to protect ourselves from further harm. However, it is us who will pay the price, not the perpetrator. When we hold on to anger we limit our peace and happiness. Anger, pride, lust, and envy are some of the things that blind us. Forgiveness is about letting go. Forgiving others is similar to bailing water out of a boat; with every bucket of water tossed over the side our vessel begins to rise. Soon, you are able to float above the chaos, continuing down stream the way you were meant to.
Sometimes we withhold our forgiveness as a way to punish someone else; again it is about control. We want to keep them from having peace. We want to wound them, the way they wounded us. What we often fail to realize, is that we have been poisoned. We are now allowing anger to run our lives, and we are also allowing others to have power over us. The only way to break the cycle is to forgive. When we do so, all of the power over us is released. We are able to move back into a place of positivity, a place of healing and progress.
Forgiving others is also an act of love. There will surely be people along the way who perhaps do not deserve your forgives. It is not up to us to be the judge of every man or woman. In these cases, it is best to forgive in order to allow yourself to move on. However, in the case of relationship forgiveness can be seen as an act of unconditional love. It can be a way to say to someone, that even though you are not perfect, I will love you anyway. It is not a show of weakness, but one of strength. You are not forgiving because you have to, but because you choose to.
If you desire forgiveness, then be the type that forgives, and be brave enough to ask for it. Take responsibility for the things you know you have done wrong. Most importantly forgive yourself. You cannot have happiness if you are angry with yourself. If you believe you are hurting others on purpose, then you should meet that issue with the power of your will and do that which is necessary to change it. If you are merely being human and making mistakes like the rest of us, then you should love yourself, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.
The sooner you put forgiveness into practice, the sooner you can get the water out of your boat, get the object of pain out of your flesh, heal your wounds, strengthen your relationships, and get back to being happy.
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