“Knowing others is intelligence,
knowing yourself is true wisdom.”
-Lao Tzu–
No other individual should ever be responsible for your happiness. Spending time alone is perhaps one of the most self empowering things one can do for themselves. When we are young, we scarcely know what we want or don’t want. After some time, and perhaps after a few negative experiences, we have a better idea of what we don’t want, but still aren’t quite sure of what we do want. Many become stuck in this stage of life. They continue to choose bad relationships, and fill their space and life with things and people they thought would make them happy, yet somehow they are left feeling as if something is missing, or that they should be doing more with their life. Humans are a social species, and our success as a species is largely due to our working together and caring for one-another. However, spending time alone can be crucial in helping us decide where and how we fit into society and life as a whole. It also allows us to plug into a higher sense of self, and establish a better connection to our soul.
Many people are afraid to be alone. When spending time alone, we often have thoughts come to mind that have been buried by the hustle and bustle of our day to day life. For some, being too busy to think about the things that have hurt them is intentional, while for others it is unintentional. Spending time alone with your thoughts doesn’t have to be frightening. Your soul uses your personality to get what it needs from this life. If there are things that you are hiding from, then at your core you can never really have peace, and therefore you are effectively placing an obstacle between you and your happiness. The best way to remove the obstruction is to deal with it directly. Some of the best conversations an individual can have, are the ones they have with themselves. The next time you are alone, talk out loud with yourself about the things you are afraid of, and try to come up with some practical ways to overcome those fears. Sometimes saying things out loud helps us to see them differently and allows us to let a little air out of the fear balloon. Talking out loud with yourself may seem daft to some, but its a great way to sort out jumbled thoughts, prepare yourself for a difficult conversation, or even to speak positive vibes into the universe by stating the things you are thankful for. You can do this while driving to work, taking a shower, doing the dishes, or any other time you find yourself alone.
Some people have never lived alone. They moved out of their parents house and in with a roommate, then go on to live with a boyfriend or girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the individual makes time for self. Even so, some may develop a pattern of dependency. It’s as if they don’t believe that they can make it on their own. Being financially responsible, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, keeping appointments, and so on can seem like daunting tasks if you have always split those responsibilities with someone else. Nothing builds self confidence in an individual like knowing you have what it takes to be self sufficient. If you are single, embrace it. Be thankful that you are getting some good life experience under your belt and growing with every challenge you meet. If you are in a relationship, find time to be alone.
Making time to reflect and be by yourself is a great way to find harmony in a world that at times can feel rather chaotic. There are a number of ways one can go about spending time with themselves. Going for a walk or bike ride, meditating, taking a bath and reading a book, sitting down to a movie and a bowl of popcorn, heading to the lake to do some fishing or kayaking, or just about anything else you might enjoy. It’s great to have shared activities with others, but the more time you spend alone, the more confident you will become, the more self empowered you will feel, and the more you will begin to know and trust yourself. Suddenly you will find yourself having new things to share with others, you will begin to have a better idea of what you want out of life, and most of all you will develop a better relationship with yourself.
By spending more time alone, you will gain a firmer grasp of who you are as an individual, the things you used to be afraid will begin to fall away and there will be more room for your happiness.
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