“The secret to life
is finding the right balance to everything you do”.
-Unknown.
Balance is all around us. One merely needs to step out side and have a look around. The day is chased by the night, and the night is chased by the day. The seasons lead and follow one another, like four ancient friends riding a merry-go-round. The trees produce oxygen bringing life to every breathing creature, and the breath of those creatures returns to the trees as carbon-dioxide where it is turned back into oxygen once again. The earth and moon move through space like professional dance partners keeping time with the song of the universe and holding each others gaze. There are many more examples of balance in nature, but what about us; where can we see balance in our own lives?
When we think of balance today, we generally think about our schedules. How do I get the kids to school in the morning, get to work on time, and then somehow make it back to pick them up in eight hours? How can I make time to pursue my education, excel at work, and hold down a committed relationship? These are all good questions, and each of them certainly have their place, but first there must be balance on a more basic level. There are four fundamental areas to consider when seeking balance in our lives; social, physical, mental, and emotional. Each of them is important to finding our equilibrium, and each is essential to our happiness.
There are many aspects of the social self, time with friends, interactions with coworkers, being part of a church, participating in team sports, and so on. Anytime you are interacting with one or more other individuals, you are experiencing your social self. That is, the person you become when you are with a particular individual or group of individuals.
The physical self has to do with your external appearance as well as your internal health. Many factors play a role in this aspect of self. As noted in a previous chapter, genetics play a large part, as they provide the very frame work for your appearance and function, but there are other factors as well. Diet and exercise, makeup, jewelry, attire, and hair style can all contribute to this element of self.
The mental self is vast. It is a medley of everything from our capacity to learn to our ability to think, process, and reason. It has much to do with our attitude, self awareness, natural talents, and our general intelligence.
Finally, there is the emotional self. This portion of self is complex and can be quite difficult to master and or understand. It’s possible for multiple individuals to have different feelings about the same event. Due to the vast web of social media and other technological advancements such as texting, many have become detached from their emotional self. Some choose to bottle their feelings, never allowing themselves to experience them. While others seek to bury or drown them by way of drug and alcohol use.
Balance within each category is crucial. For example; if you choose not to eat as a way to lose weight and in order to appear healthier, your internal health suffers and you are if effect out of balance. If you choose to lose weight through healthy diet and exercise, then you will be more in balance. If you make the choice to suppress your sadness so that others will believe that you are happy rather than experience your feelings and process them in a healthy manner; then again you will be out of balance and you cannot be truly happy.
It is equally important to have balance between each aspect of self. If you spend all of your time focusing on your social self by going to clubs with friends and getting trashed, it’s likely that your physical self will suffer as a result of toxins, and poor nutrition. Your mental self could suffer from lack of sleep, and your emotional self may experience highs and lows as a negative facet of all of the above. If you were to focus entirely on your physical self using only healthy means, you may have balance within that category, but you may also still be out of balance as a whole. Perhaps you are spending all of your free time with your headphones in at the gym and your social life has become nonexistent. Every individuals needs vary to some degree, and the above examples (while somewhat extreme) are meant to convey a basic truth. Balance is intrinsically linked to our overall state of well being. I would also argue that our spiritual self is very much something to be examined. While many decisions in life require nothing more than logic, there are many times when having a good balance of mind and heart intelligence will lead to the more satisfactory outcome.
A simple way to be more intentional about having balance, is to write down each main element of self and list in each category what you are doing to improve in that area. Then think about how much time you give to each of them, and decide if you are content with the way you are balancing them. If you are not content, or simply feel there is room for improvement; try to come up with some healthy ways to do so. If you have been stuffing down your emotions, perhaps consider counsel or setting some time aside for self reflection. If your mental state is one of stress, maybe find some ways you can unwind, like making time for positive physical, or social activities to relieve said stress and restore your balance.
As I have said before; if you make more time to spend with yourself, building an intrapersonal relationship with you, then you will have a better sense of self and you will be better equipped to recognize when something feels off. Hence you will have the tools needed to correct course and get back to being a happier more balanced you.
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